Holla Back, Como!

Charmer Wannabe downtown on Broadway.

2011-01-31T14:23:00.002-08:00

A couple of years ago I was walking downtown from my car to a restaurant when a guy hung his head out of his car window and started yelling "hey baby how you doing?"
I was annoyed and so flipped him the bird. Annoyed that I hadn't responded the way he wanted he then started screaming:
"Whatever, keep walking fat ass! Go drink a Slimfast!"

Apparently when I rejected him I became unattractive.

Getting physically attacked in broad daylight isn't my idea of a fun afternoon.

2011-01-31T14:23:00.001-08:00

A while back, My friend and I were walking down Broadway towards Osco Drug (close to Broadway and Providence). We saw someone biking behind us, so we each stood on the grass at either side of the sidewalk to let the person go. It took them a while to pass us, but they finally did.
We thought that was a bit weird, like they had wanted to stay behind us or something, but we just kept going.
We went into Osco and spotted the individual from the sidewalk in the store, not too far from us. We walked towards them, to let them know we were aware of their presence, that they couldn't catch us off guard, and they slipped out of the store.
Next we went to the Public Library.
We were there for a bit, when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the person who had been following us walking through the library.
We thought maybe if we spent enough time in the library, the stalker would give up and leave.
We stayed for a while, but when the person didn't get the hint, we decided our best bet was to leave asap. We walked down Broadway, heading to my friend's house. It was 3 or 4 p.m., pretty good traffic in the streets, broad daylight (it was August). We got to Stewart Park and saw the person heading on their bike towards us. Noticing cars coming our way, we decided to cross the road, in hopes that the stalker wouldn't cross in a busy street.
But they did.
Tired of being frightened, we stopped at McBaine and Broadway and I turned to our stalker and said, "Look, what is your problem? Would you just leave us alone!" They got spooked, and rode away. We thought they were gone for good when suddenly they came up behind us, grabbed my butt and my chest and biked off quickly onto Aldeah street before we got the chance to say anything.
It all just happened so fast. I wanted to stick a foot out and kick them off their bike, but I didn't want to risk any further harm to myself or my friend. We rushed home and stayed inside for a long time.

3rd time is... STILL not actually charming.

2011-01-25T13:47:00.000-08:00

This seems like this happens all the time and until now, I've just brushed it off or ranted to my friends, but I think telling these stories will empower us and help stop street harassment. Here are some of the encounters I've had in the last 6 months. Most of the the harassment I've received has happened during the summer.

I recall one evening I was walking to a friend's house to hang out, it wasn't too terribly late maybe 9ish and the street was pretty quiet.
I live on 5th and my friend lived only a few blocks away on 9th so I wasn't worried about walking alone.
These four dudes were standing in a group and as I passed on the other side of the street they began to yell "Hey, Cutie...What are you doing?" "Where are you headed to all by yourself?"
I didn't know how to respond, so I just played the nice card, politely smiled.
Then one of the dudes came up to me and introduced himself as "Blue", he asked me what I was up to and what I was doing out so late. I felt totally uncomfortable but didn't want to provoke anything so I just said I was going to my friend's and that it wasn't too late at all for me to be out and that I had to get going because I was late. He reached out for my hand saying something about how I'm so beautiful and he just wanted to touch me. I said no thanks and that I had to go because I was so late. I rushed off feeling small and pitiful and had my friend walk me back home later that night.

Another one happened again in the summer when I was leaving my house to walk downtown to the Peace Nook, and two guys were walking towards me. One was visibly drunk and started the cat calling. He stumbled towards me and tried to touch my hair. The other wrangled him in and apologized for his friend's behavior, and then let me go on my way.

And finally, this one happened just two weeks ago...when I was walking home during the snow storm.
My nose was running, my glasses were fogged and as I passed the court house on Walnut street a man walking past remarked, "Girllll, you sure are looking finnnnnnnnnne" and then proceeded to keep saying "Owwww, girllllll" as I passed.
I didn't say anything or really even look at him. I was so angry that this keeps happening to me and that I don't seem to know what do to about it.

Post by Mary

Hiding doesn't make the harassment stop.

2011-01-20T10:04:00.001-08:00

I am Saudi, I grew up in a strict Muslim home. Here is a bit of information about the faith that a lot of people don't know. The practice of hijab, or wearing the veil was actually a measure designed to protect women from harassment and molestation when they left their homes. Back in the day, on the Arabian peninsula, female infanticide and the like was pretty common, and the veiling was supposed to keep the perpetrator accountable for their actions so they couldn't pull the whole "she seduced me" crap. Well, I don't really believe in this method, and I do not now nor will I ever practice hijab. I live in a town in Missouri in the 21st century, every night I take precautions. I walk a familiar way home, I walk very briskly, looking ahead so it is hard for someone to approach me, I keep my headphones in even when I am not listening to music so I have a reason not to respond to the yells out of cars or across the street. But even doing all these things street harassment happens to me on a regular basis and I do worry that something worse than the yells and occasional arm grab will happen. It is frustrating to me that these people have so much control in my life.

No, actually, we aren't hookers.

2011-01-07T21:20:00.001-08:00

My friends and I ( two other girls and a guy) were walking down the street back to my house which was less then a block away) when a shady dude pulled alongside us and beckoned my guy friend over to him. He preceded to ask him "how much for one of your girls" And when our friend told him to fuck off and that we weren't "his girls" or for sale he went on to make kissing noises and tongue rolls at us. It was so fucking infuriating but in situations like this I choke up and I don't know how to react. I want to lash out and scream and fight but I'm always afraid of "starting shit" or getting my ass kicked.

Acknowledge, Assess, Act

2010-11-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

Streetharassmentdisruption.blogspot.com, a new site has recently come to my attention. The 3A's of Street Harassment blog explains, in great detail, street harassment perpetrators. It seeks to provide women with calculated responses (rather than responses made in the heat of the moment that are angry and unplanned) to harassment based on 3 guidelines: Acknowledge, Assess, Act.

It proceeds to basically profile many different kinds of perpetrators from "Charmer Wannabe" and "Peacocking Showoff" to the "Overgrown Bully" and "Opportunistic Predator".

It also gives an entire commentary on what bystanders, and male bystanders specifically, can do to help end street harassment.

This blog is a great resource for anyone wanting a more in-depth look at the ins, outs, whys, and hows of street harassment.

In other news, unfortunately the plans regarding the Sister Spit workshops have fallen through, but never fear, we are dedicated to getting this project off the ground and into the streets of Columbia, and you KNOW we have a few more tricks up our sleeves.

In the meantime, those who read this blog, please inform your friends and other acquaintances about us and encourage them to post stories about their experiences with street harassment!

<3>

Current projects .

2010-10-05T13:21:00.001-07:00

Current projects for HollaBack CoMO:

~Possible map of Columbia to pinpoint street harassment where it happens most frequently.
~ Teaming up with the University of Missouri and Sister Spit and members of INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence to bring workshops on writing and violence against women to the campus (it would be open to anyone!).
~ Working with the Women's Center to do a speaking engagement and get people interested and involved.
~ Movie Night/Happy Hour to communicate with other folks about current projects in a more laid-back atmosphere.
~ We have a New Logo!

Have other Ideas? Email them to:

hollabackcomo@rocketmail.com

~ Luci

In Bangladesh, six street harassers go to jail!

2010-08-25T21:49:00.001-07:00

In Bangladesh, six street harassers go to jail

Earlier this month, six young men in central Bangladesh were sentenced to seven days in jail for engaging in eve teasing, or street harassment, under Section 34 of the Code of Criminal Procedure. This is the first time men have gone to jail for eve teasing.

A unit of the Rapid action Battalion (RAB-11) caught the accused young men harassing a group of female students from the Gono Bidyaa Niketon School, in Narayanganja District. They were arrested on the spot and tried the next day.

The police superintendent said the punishment was meant to serve as a warning to any potential wrongdoer. “It will prevent this type of crime,” he said, “which we are trying to eradicate.”

Their attention to this matter—which impacts women worldwide—has been spurred by an increase in the number of women committing suicide because of harassers. Recently, for example, 14-year-old student Umme Kulsum Elora killed herself by drinking pesticide in order to escape a 19-year-old man and his friend who had been harassing her in the streets for a year. Her family had talked to the man’s family and to school authorities but nothing changed. So she took matters into her own hands. So sad!

In Bangladesh, human and women’s rights activists welcome the prison sentence. They hope it will set a precedent and be used in future cases. They also hope it will deter street harassment from occurring. Me too.

When will police, legislators, and human rights activists in the United States pay attention to this issue? When will we have a law against street harassment?

New Book on Street Harassment Out Now!!!

2010-08-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a post about the new book out by Holly Kearl, about street harassment! Please, send in your contributions of your own stories of street harassment to: hollabackcomo@rocketmail.com!!!

Stop Street Harassment Book Available!

The evidence is unmistakable, the numbers alarming. Over 80 percent of women experience gender-based harassment from unknown men in public, including whistling, sexually-explicit comments, groping, stalking, and assault. One study of 800 women, for example, reported that 75 percent had been followed and 57 percent sexually touched.

Street harassment is generally dismissed as harmless, but in reality, it causes women to feel unsafe in public, especially when they are alone. Until this form of harassment is eliminated, true gender equality will not be achieved. The brand new book Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women draws on academic studies, informal surveys, news articles, and interviews with activists around the world to explore the practice's definition and prevalence, the societal contexts in which it occurs, its global range, and the role of factors such as race and sexual orientation. Perhaps more crucially, the book makes clear how women experience street harassment—how they feel about and respond to it—and the ways it negatively impacts their lives.

In the second half of the book, female and male readers will find concrete strategies for addressing street harassment and ideas for how they can work to end this violation. Everyone has a role they can play to stop street harassment and make public places safe and welcoming for women. What will your role be?

Author Holly Kearl is a national street harassment expert, writer, and nonprofit professional based in the Washington, D.C. area. Her work has been cited by the United Nations, CNN, the Guardian, ABC News, Feministing, and Jezebel. In addition to her book, she runs the website Stop Street Harassment and the companion blog where people from around the world submit their street harassment stories. Holly has written articles about street harassment for Forbes, Huffington Post, Oregonian, and AOL. She also works for AAUW and volunteers with RAINN.

To order the book, visit Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, or Greenwood.com.
To arrange an interview, contact Holly Kearl, hollykearl AT yahoo.com.
Attend one of Holly’s events or contact her to arrange an author talk or book signing in your area.

2010-08-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Hollaback CoMo!!
If you have the time, pop over to the Pepsi website and vote for our friends over at HollaBack DC, they're trying to get funding for a really awesome project. Thanks!!

From DC:
We are excited to share that we are in the Pepsi Refresh Everything
Challenge this month. Since 2008, we've been trying to start
RightRides DC, a free, safe, late night ride-share program for women
and LGBTQ individuals to ensure their safe commute to and through high-
risk areas in our nation's capital. Each HollaBack has the
opportunity to make this dream a reality, for free, by voting for it
on the Pepsi Refresh Challenge here:
http://pep.si/c39T2R. Please vote every.single.day in August.

Ooh baby doesn't my threat turn you on?!

2010-07-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

I live right in downtown Columbia and one day, about a week ago, I was sitting on the steps to my porch, enjoying the weather and a drink with my boyfriend.
I live right on a street corner, so anyone who stops at the stop sign is directly in front of me if I'm outside.
A car pulled up, and since we were sitting facing the street, I had to look into the car. There was a man in the passenger seat who turned to his right staring at me, with his head completely out the window. He winked at me and over-exaggerated liking his lips and air kissed me. I just raised my hands up and shook my head as if to say "What the hell are you doing? Can I help you?". The car finally pulled away, and I saw the man physically turn around in his seat to continue staring at me, so I circled my finger to say "Turn back around in your seat". This made him mad and he yelled from almost a block away, "I'LL BE BACK FOR YOU TONIGHT, BITCH", and with that the car sped off.
All I had time to do was yell "FUCK YOU" at him, and I'm sure he didn't hear me.

Obviously he was threatening me. He knew where I lived, or was staying, and he wanted me to think he would come back later to.....have a nice conversation? I don't think so! He wanted me to feel scared of him, and to worry that he would come back to harm me.
Well guess what, it didn't work. He made me think he was a loser and an idiot. Good job buddy!

Welcome to HOLLABACKCOMO!!

2010-07-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hey!
My name is Luci, and I'm one of the people that runs this site.
I'm so glad you're here! Here's some info about us as we get started with this project.

HollabackCoMo is a branch of a larger network of websites. We provide a place for women and the LGBTQ community to fight back against street harassment.

Street harassment...you know... when you're walking down the street and some idiot yells out to you "I want to fuck the shit out of you".
When you're trying to buy a soda and the guy standing in front of you turns around and after obviously checking out your breasts, says "What, you can't smile?" or when you're trying to go on a date with your partner but some drunk person keeps asking you if you'll make out because "lesbo's are totally hot", or you're walking to work and someone yells "Faggot" at you out their car window.
These are just examples, but they're equally frustrating, and part of a much larger spectrum of harassment that eventually leads to physical abuse and/or rape.

Often times, when these comments are made to us, we are told/taught to accept them graciously for they are only meant as harmless compliments.
We are told "hey, boys will be boys" and "if you're going to wear that, you should shut up if you get catcalled".
We are taught that it's part of our reality as minorities of this society to accept any kind of harassment we receive, and to pardon our harassers at the expense of our own well-being.
Well not anymore.

Usually when this kind of situation happens, it seems easier to ignore it.
This can be for multiple reasons. You may feel that if you respond, you are inviting more conversation with someone you didn't even want to talk to in the first place. You might understand that you'll have to explain yourself, and/or get into an argument that is frustrating and pointless. You might be alone on a deserted block and be worried that if you acknowledge the person, it could become a physical encounter. You might just not have a good comeback, or be so frustrated at the situation that you want to escape it asap.

Now you have Hollaback to support you!

We believe that if you feel it's safe, and you'd like to do something about it, that you should stand up for yourself in these situations.
There are many ways you can do this, by yelling or speaking "holla-ing" back at the harasser, by taking a picture of the harasser and posting it here for everyone to see, or simply by coming home, getting online and posting your story here for support and understanding.
No matter what you do, we want to hear about it. We want to form a community of people in Columbia who have experienced street harassment and who've had ENOUGH and want it to STOP RIGHT NOW!
We can work towards that goal by creating a support network through this website.
Your posts will be anonymous unless otherwise specified, and the comments will be disabled so no one can put their two cents in about your experiences, but just knowing there are other people experiencing these injustices, makes you feel empowered to create change.

So welcome to HollaBack, and I'll start with the first story so you all can follow suit!!
<3 a safer Columbia, Mo.