Holla Back, Como!: Ooh baby doesn't my threat turn you on?!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Ooh baby doesn't my threat turn you on?!

I live right in downtown Columbia and one day, about a week ago, I was sitting on the steps to my porch, enjoying the weather and a drink with my boyfriend.
I live right on a street corner, so anyone who stops at the stop sign is directly in front of me if I'm outside.
A car pulled up, and since we were sitting facing the street, I had to look into the car. There was a man in the passenger seat who turned to his right staring at me, with his head completely out the window. He winked at me and over-exaggerated liking his lips and air kissed me. I just raised my hands up and shook my head as if to say "What the hell are you doing? Can I help you?". The car finally pulled away, and I saw the man physically turn around in his seat to continue staring at me, so I circled my finger to say "Turn back around in your seat". This made him mad and he yelled from almost a block away, "I'LL BE BACK FOR YOU TONIGHT, BITCH", and with that the car sped off.
All I had time to do was yell "FUCK YOU" at him, and I'm sure he didn't hear me.

Obviously he was threatening me. He knew where I lived, or was staying, and he wanted me to think he would come back later to.....have a nice conversation? I don't think so! He wanted me to feel scared of him, and to worry that he would come back to harm me.
Well guess what, it didn't work. He made me think he was a loser and an idiot. Good job buddy!

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What you can do...

Email us your stories of street harassment! *

hollabackcomo@
rocketmail.com

Whether it happened an hour ago, yesterday, or 4 years ago, we want to hear about it!*
If you feel like it's possible, take a picture of the harasser and send it to the email also.
We'll post that along with your story so the jerk gets some sort of justice, and so you feel you've done something about it.

**Hollaback CoMO cares about your privacy and well being, we disable comments, and your post is always strictly confidential and anonymous unless you specify otherwise.
If there is anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable with sharing a story here, please let us know at the email below.

Don't have a story, but would still like to contribute?
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Policies

It's a common stereotype and misconception that men of color are more likely to be the perpetrators of street harassment and sexual violence in all forms. We at HollaBack seek to debunk these myths by providing information to the contrary, as well as having a strict policy that posts not include the race of the attacker.This is also our policy regarding sizist, homophobic, classicist, ablist, or otherwise.

We don't believe replacing sexism with any other oppressive language is a proper Hollaback!

If you have further questions, or wish to learn more through other resources, please contact us at :

Hollabackcomo@rocketmail.com

FAQ!

Question: Are you a bunch of crazed feminazis who hate men?

Answer: Actually, HollaBack is a collective comprised of women AND men who believe in building communities where everyone feels comfortable, safe, and respected. Many people, particularly men, are unaware of the frequency and severity of disrespect and intimidation that numerous folks, especially women, experience in public spaces on a daily basis. HollaBackCoMo aims to expose and combat street harassment as well as provide an empowering forum in this struggle.

Question: OK, but what exactly is street harassment?

Answer: Street harassment is a form of sexual harassment that takes place in public spaces. At its core street harassment is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups (women and LGBTQ folks, for example) of their vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Further, it reinforces the ubiquitous sexual objectification of these groups in everyday life.

At HollaBackCoMo, we believe that what specifically counts as street harassment is determined by those who experience it. While there is always the classic, “Hey baby, nice tits” there are so many other forms that go unnoted. If you feel like you have been harassed, HOLLA BACK!

Question: I heard something about your position on anti-racism. What’s that about, and what does it have to do with street harassment?

Don’t understand? See our anti-racist statement.

Any further questions can be directed to: Hollabackcomo@rocketmail.com

Question: But isn’t your idea of “street harassment” just belittling another person’s culture?

Answer: Street harassers occupy the full spectrum of class, race, and ethnicity.

Question: Confronting street harassers can be dangerous. What about safety issues?

Answer: While everyone is vulnerable to stranger rape and sexual assault, studies show that those who are aware of their surroundings, walk with confidence, and if harassed respond assertively, are less vulnerable. Nevertheless, direct confrontations with street harassers may prove extremely dangerous, particularly alone or in unpopulated spaces. While it is each individual’s right to decide when, how, and if to Holla Back, do keep issues of safety in mind. Upon deciding to photograph a harasser, you may consider doing so after the initial encounter and from a distance, ensuring the harasser is unaware of your actions.

Question: I am a man who was recently sexually objectified by a woman on the street. I think this is reverse harassment. Why won’t you post my story?

Answer: While a woman making unsolicited sexual remarks to a man is certainly conceivable, the power dynamics of such an encounter are very different in a society where women comprise a historically subordinated group. HollaBack is a project dedicated to combating a particular form of violence that designates subordinated groups (such as women and LGBTQ folks, for example) as targets in public spaces or otherwise vulnerable to unsolicited, non-consensual encounters with strangers. It is thus not a forum for reporting other unpleasantries.

Question: Isn’t street harassment the price you pay for living in a city?

Answer: No, local taxes are the price you pay for living in a city. We would love to see some portion of our local taxes go towards preventing street harassment, but alas, they don’t.In fact, street harassment is not confined to urban areas. It occurs in shopping malls, cars, parking lots, public parks, airplanes, fast-food restaurants, gas stations, churches, and numerous other public spaces.

Question: So let’s say a man sees a woman he thinks is attractive and tells her so. Are you saying that makes him a harasser?

Answer: Some do not find comments such as “Hello, beautiful” or “Hey, gorgeous” offensive. Many do. Others may find them intimidating, intrusive, or just an annoying pain in the ass. Keep in mind that many women experience unsolicited comments, as well as violent verbal assault, from men in public spaces on a regular basis. Rather than deliberating the “gray areas” of street harassment, treat everyone you encounter with respect.

Question: If you show off your boobage, shouldn’t you expect some compliments?

Answer: Sure, expect them, but don’t accept them! Just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s okay. A compliment is not a compliment if it makes the recipient feel bad.

Question: Sure, but if “the harasser” were hot, wouldn’t you like it?

Answer: This has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with power.

Mission!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Ooh baby doesn't my threat turn you on?!

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